I’m a failure and that’s okay

When I signed up for this thing, I knew it would be hard. If have to take time every day to write something to post. I made a giant list of ideas of all of the things I could write about. I scheduled time each evening to write. I told Matt about my goal so he could provide me support.

But, still, I failed. I didn’t write a thing yesterday for the blog. I took some photos and had this great idea of walking you through my Saturday. Boring, perhaps, but it was something.

Then I realized what I was doing. Yes, I love to write and I liked the challenge of having to come up with something I was comfortable sharing here daily. But I wasn’t as much a part of my life because of it. It wasn’t the time but the mental attention I had to give it. I couldn’t get it off my mind when I was supposed to be giving Matt or Squirms or other people my attention. I was so tuned in to finding writing topics, things just slipped me by.

It was particularly bad early this week. I knew Matt and Squirms would be out of town later in the week and I treated them like normal days. They didn’t need all of my attention all the time, it was just two days away, but I didn’t give them any extra hugs or tell Squirms I was just going away for a little while. I was beyond excited to have that time, all that extra time between work and sleep to write and take photos and have great blog posts.

I blog because I want to record what goes on in my life and you have to actually live your life if you want to have something to record. And you can’t do that if you focus so much in having to produce something daily. Or, at least, I can’t. This, then, is likely to be my last NaBloPoMo attempt. But, don’t worry, I have no plans for radio silence, either.

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I’m a failure and that’s okay

3 thoughts on “I’m a failure and that’s okay

  1. postpostmoderndad says:

    It’s tough finding that balance. I know, between a 6 month old and various other kids in various other grades helping with homework, getting dinner done, etc. Often I wind up with a lot of half-written posts, or ideas. In my drafts folder right now there are a few that literally have just a headline so I can remember what I wanted to blog about later. then after the kids are in bed or whatever I can spend 15 minutes typing stuff out.

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  2. It is a balance. One thing I am learning with this NaBloPoMo is that I do not want to write a post every day. It is excessive for me because I don’t have something to say every day. I took the weekend off but I will persevere to the end of November and see what else I can learn. You are not a failure.

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  3. I did 16 posts within a month once, but most of the time it’s just one post per month, and sometimes even not a single one. And I feel good about it. We’ve just got to find our own rhythm, I guess. 🙂

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